The Complete Equipment Guide

Getting the equipment right makes a bigger difference to comfort and enjoyment than almost anything else. This guide covers the four core categories — harnesses, dildos, lubricants, and accessories — and the criteria that matter when choosing between options. It doesn't point to specific branded products, since fit, feel, and quality vary too much by body and preference for one-size-fits-all picks. Instead, the goal is to give you the knowledge to evaluate anything you're considering, whether that's in a shop, in the shop, or recommended by a friend.

This page is about what to buy. Once you've chosen your gear, practical skills covers how to fit, angle, and actually use it together.

Harnesses

A harness is the wearable component that holds a dildo in place for hands-free penetration. When evaluating one, consider strap style, material, O-ring size and interchangeability, adjustability across hip size and rise, how well it stays put during movement, and how easy it is to get in and out of. A full walkthrough of these criteria, including the sizing mistake most first-time buyers make, is in choosing your first strap-on; the summary below covers the essentials.

Two-strap vs underwear-style. Two-strap harnesses use a waistband plus a strap running between the legs to the O-ring. They're highly adjustable, tend to stay secure during vigorous movement, and are usually less expensive, though some find the between-the-legs strap less comfortable over long sessions. Underwear-style harnesses look and feel more like ordinary briefs with a built-in ring — more discreet and comfortable, quicker to put on, but less adjustable and with a fixed ring position. Many people who peg regularly end up owning one of each: two-strap for security, underwear-style for comfort and spontaneity. Harness types and fit goes into more depth on both, along with fit-checking and break-in.

Materials. Leather moulds to the body over time and feels substantial, but needs conditioning, can't go in the wash, and costs more. Fabric, nylon, and neoprene are cheaper, easier to clean, and generally the more practical first choice — neoprene in particular is comfortable against skin and dries quickly. For a first purchase, fabric or neoprene is the lower-risk option.

O-rings. The O-ring holds the dildo in place and comes in a few standard diameters, commonly in the 4–6.5cm range. Smaller rings hold slim toys securely but won't fit wider bases; larger rings fit wider toys but may let a slim one wobble. Many manufacturers list a dildo's base diameter specifically so it can be matched to ring size, and some harnesses use a universal snap-on system that lets one harness work across multiple ring sizes.

Buying priorities for a first harness: adjustable fabric or neoprene material, an interchangeable O-ring system, a retailer that specialises in sex toys and vets materials carefully, and a mid-range price — there's little reason to invest in a premium harness before you know your preferred style. Once you do, premium options offer more durable materials, more adjustment points, padded straps, and finish options worth paying for. For travel, underwear-style harnesses pack flat, and fabric or neoprene is lighter and less fussy than leather.

Dildos

Body-safe materials. "Body-safe" generally means non-porous and free of phthalates. Non-porous materials don't harbour bacteria in surface pores and are compatible with more cleaning methods. Platinum-cured silicone, glass, stainless steel, and hard plastic (ABS) all qualify; jelly rubber, PVC, and unlabelled "novelty" materials are often porous and harder to clean thoroughly, so treat them with caution. Silicone vs TPE materials covers this comparison in more detail.

Silicone warms to skin temperature, flexes slightly, comes in a huge range of firmness levels, and is quiet in use — but it only pairs safely with water-based lubricant, since silicone lube degrades silicone toys over time. Glass and stainless steel are rigid, can be warmed or cooled for temperature play, are easy to sterilise, and work with any lubricant type because they don't react with silicone. Steel adds noticeable weight, which some people specifically enjoy.

Shape and firmness. Straight, classic shapes are simple and versatile for beginners still learning what angles feel good; curved designs aim more directly at the prostate with less need for precise angling; bulbous or ribbed designs add texture and variation. Realistic versus sculptural appearance is purely aesthetic and has no bearing on sensation. Firmness runs from soft and flexible to rigid, and there's no universally "better" choice — many people's preferences shift with experience.

Sizing for beginners. A shorter insertable length (roughly 10–13cm) and a narrower diameter (roughly 2.5–3cm) with a gently tapered tip are typically the easiest place to start, since full insertion isn't the goal early on. Smooth surfaces are easier to insert and withdraw comfortably than textured ones, which add sensation but need more lubrication and a slower pace. Size guide and progression covers how to size up from there.

Base and compatibility. For harness use, look for a flared or flat base sized to fit through your harness's O-ring — a suction-cup base, designed for solo hands-free use on a flat surface, typically won't work with a harness. Many manufacturers label toys explicitly as "harness-compatible," which simplifies the check. Double-ended dildos, with an insertable end for each partner, are a related but different practice from harness-based pegging.

Care. Wash non-porous toys with warm water and mild soap or a dedicated toy cleaner before and after each use; glass and steel can often be boiled for sanitising if the manufacturer confirms it's safe. Using a condom on a toy simplifies cleanup and makes sharing between partners more hygienic. Dry fully before storing, and keep silicone toys separate from each other and from other silicone items, since prolonged contact can degrade the material. Cleaning and caring for your toys has the full routine, and safety and anatomy basics covers the hygiene reasoning behind it.

Lubricants

Lubricant choice depends on toy material and session length, and it's genuinely one of the areas people under-invest in. Lubricants explained is the detailed reference; the essentials are below.

Water-based lubricant is compatible with every toy material, including silicone, making it the safest all-purpose default. It cleans up easily and doesn't stain fabric, but dries out faster, so longer sessions usually need reapplication. Silicone-based lubricant lasts much longer without reapplication, which is why it's often favoured for anal sex specifically, but it's not compatible with silicone toys — it degrades them over time — and is somewhat harder to wash off skin and fabric. Hybrid lubricants blend the two, aiming for a middle ground, but compatibility with silicone toys varies by product and concentration, so check the label rather than assuming.

For anal use specifically, look for simple formulations, ideally free of glycerin and parabens if you're sensitive to either, and consider a lubricant labelled for anal use, since these tend to account for osmolality in a way that reduces irritation risk. Avoid warming, tingling, or heavily fragranced products, which can irritate sensitive tissue without the usual warning signs. Store lubricant somewhere cool and dry, keep lids closed, and check expiry dates — expired lubricant can cause irritation or simply stop working well.

The single most common cause of discomfort during anal play is using too little lubricant. Other common mistakes include pairing silicone lube with silicone toys, assuming the body will self-lubricate the way it does elsewhere (it won't, without help), reaching for household substitutes like lotion or oil, which aren't designed for internal use and can break down latex condoms, and failing to reapply as a longer session goes on.

Accessories

A few smaller items make ownership easier day to day. A dedicated toy cleaner is a mild soap formulated specifically for toy materials — gentler than household soap and worth keeping on hand. Breathable fabric or mesh storage pouches are generally better than airtight plastic for long-term storage, since some materials degrade with prolonged plastic or silicone contact. Discreet, padded travel cases keep toys separate from other luggage for both hygiene and discretion.

It's worth keeping a small set of replacement O-rings in a few sizes, since rings wear out or need swapping when you change toy size — just confirm compatibility with your specific harness first, as sizing isn't standardised across manufacturers. Extension straps, padded liners, and extra D-rings or clips can extend a harness's fit range or add comfort for longer sessions.

For hygiene and cleanup, condoms (used on toys), wipes, gloves, and towels are all worth having within reach, and a cushion or wedge can help with positioning during longer or more athletic sessions — more on that angle in practical skills. For organisation, keep toys, lubricant, and cleaner together in one spot, store silicone items separately from other materials, label pouches in shared households, and periodically check lubricant expiry dates and equipment condition for cracks, fraying straps, or worn rings.

Quick shopping checklist

• An adjustable harness with an interchangeable O-ring, in a beginner-friendly material
• A beginner-sized, smooth, harness-compatible dildo
• Water-based lubricant labelled for anal use
• A dedicated toy cleaner
• A storage pouch or case
• Towels for cleanup

Equipment preferences are personal, and it's normal to try a few combinations before settling on favourites. Buying from retailers that specialise in sexual wellness and disclose materials clearly is one of the most reliable ways to get quality and safety right across every category here. For a broader look at how gear fits into the bigger picture — communication, consent, and getting started — see pegging for beginners and the fundamentals section, or browse product comparisons in reviews and comparisons.